Studies have shown that couples who don’t share their frustrations about one another split up more often than those who, from time to time, vent their concerns. Building up steam regarding relationship issues until the lid is about to blow sky high is a romance disaster just waiting to happen.
10 Rules for Fighting Fair:
1. Give it some thought before speaking your mind. When your emotions are still running on high isn’t the time to converse.
2. Don’t wait too long before communicating.
3. Be aware of her Hot Buttons; crossing boundaries that you know will initiate an out of control situation.
4. Stay on point. Don’t bring up past issues that have nothing to do with your immediate concern.
5. Use a positive along with a negative; there’s a reason that you’re together. Certainly you can come up with a few complimentary words. It’s the best way to buffer a lover’s quarrel, keeping it calm while working out your differences.
6. Pick an appropriate time to converse. Just as she’s heading out the door isn’t a good time to start an argument. In fact, it’s downright unfair.
7. Ask when it would be a good time for her to discuss what you have on your mind.
8. When it appears that your conversation is taking a turn for the worse, stop and go to your corners.
9. Prior to your conversation make a promise that you won’t interrupt while the other is speaking; listen.
10. Take time to digest what was said before drawing any conclusions.
First fights can be a good indication of where your future together is heading. If you can’t fight fair you may want to think about moving on.