Attracting the right types of women isn’t as easy as you may think. It comes about through sporting the right image and sometimes a little coaching.
Sharing my knowledge is a joy. I hope the expertise that I’ve gained over the years will help you live a more rewarding life.
How can you value another if you don’t value yourself? If you don’t see your self-worth there’s a good chance that your colleagues, friends, and, yes, even the woman you’re dating don’t see it as well.
Too often I talk with men who take on the role of Pleaser in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, most women love to be pampered. However, a relationship based solely on a man giving and woman receiving, in the long run, rarely works out.
Recently I had this conversation with T.
o T. I checked out your website. I didn’t realize you had so much information. I’m going to read through it now.
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o R. Let me know your thoughts.
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o T. Well, you’ve already been helpful! I need to go visit Jerry at his shoe repair shop. One of my favorite pairs has a little rip, but they’re one of my favorite pairs of shoes…great leather, soft.
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o R. He’s the best!
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o T. I am reading about the personal shopping. I thought it was taking the lady shopping…I’m trained in that aspect.
R. It’s all about the guys!
o T. Yes, I see that now. I think I am so focused on pleasing that I forget about me sometimes.
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o R. Nothing wrong with that. Women love men who focus on them. My focus is on helping men become the best they can be – balances the equation. Right?
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o T. Yes, I agree. I’m submissive when it comes to relationships though.
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o R. Are you in a relationship now?
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o T. No, I’m not.
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o R. Do you think being submissive is the way to go? How do you think women see you?
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o T. I think strong women see me as a good match, but women that are more middle of the road do not. I think some women can buy into this type of relationship if they’re getting things in return.
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o R. Do you feel fulfilled in the role of Pleaser in a relationship?
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o T. This is the safest, right?
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o R. Being the Pleaser can feel good. Just don’t let it turn into a doormat situation. There’s a fine line between pleasing and being walked on.
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o T. I agree. I think there are other factors that contribute to me being a Pleaser.
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o R. Such as?
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o T. I like to take women shopping.
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o R. And in return?
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o T. Giving, basically.
o I’ve always thought I would be better dating a more mature woman.
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R. A lasting relationship is a relationship that has balance.
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o T. Hmmm, maybe there’s a balance that I’m not seeing. However, it does give me pleasure to please.
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o R. Do your relationships stand the test of time? Since you’re not in a relationship, is the woman the one who initiates the breakup?
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o T. Yes.
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o R. Women like to be challenged (whether they admit it or not). And when the man in their life is there strictly to please them they keep raising the bar. And when you fail to meet their expectations the relationship ends.
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o T. Yes, I see your point. You’re exactly right.
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o R. Good. Take a look in the mirror. You are worthy of a lasting relationship that offers you more than just giving. Some taking on your part is important. Otherwise, you’re in danger of becoming a Doormat.
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o T. Or just a Sugar Daddy.
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o R. Raise your expectation. No guy wants to be a Sugar Daddy. It’s a shallow and unfulfilling life.
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o T. I agree.
o I like the fact that you’re direct.
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o R. I’ve helped hundreds of men find healthy, lasting relationships. Most often it comes as a wake up call. I hope I’ve been of some help to you. Giving can feel good until it folds in on itself. It’s like eating sugar. The high lasts for just so long before it spirals down.
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o T. I understand.
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o R. Keep me posted. Talk soon.
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o T. See, talking with you and how direct you are is much needed. I have some thinking to do.
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Relationships need balance. Eventually the burden of always being the giver will become unbearable as she keeps raising the bar; she’ll want more. And when you fail to meet her expectations she’ll end the relationship.
It’s been a long interesting matchmaking summer and I’m proud to say that I was able to match most of my bachelors. I’ve worked long hours and will continue to do so for those still under contract. They’re amazing guys and deserve all that I can give to fulfill their dreams of finding their perfect matches.
Though my success rate wasn’t 100%, those who didn’t find their perfect ladies are now more prepared to go out and find them. All contracts with Lorenz Matchmaking included date coaching sessions. And those who took advantage of these sessions have a better understanding of the importance of the right image and knowledge about how women approach dating, and I feel confident that by using that knowledge they will find their Ms.Rights all on their own.
Reflecting back on the summer and my history as a date coach and fashion consultant I realized that my success rate for helping men prepare for the dating world has been 100%. I can honestly say that there hasn’t been a single client who hasn’t walked taller and felt more self-confident, self-assured. It has enabled them to attract the right types of women and lasting relationships.
Back to the present. I’m never satisfied with anything less than 100%. Therefore, I’ve come full circle, and beginning this fall will be concentrating on date coaching and helping men sport an image that will attract the right types of women while still keeping my toes in the matchmaking water (more info forthcoming on SSHI Website).
As with most things in life preparation and knowing appropriate protocol is paramount. Knowledge is key; it never fails to get you exactly what you want.
Juliet: O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, who monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
Romeo: What shall I swear by?
Juliet: Do not swear at all. Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I’ll believe thee. – William Shakespeare
The heart wants what the heart wants. And though Romeo loved Juliet with all of his heart, and Juliet loved Romeo with all of hers, we know that their love tragically ended.
‘Romeo and Juliet’ is the ultimate (theatrical) example; young lovers have very little history upon which they can draw – love conquers all.
Thankfully, once most men reach their mid-thirties they begin to realize that a lasting relationship involves more than irresistible chemistry.
Married, recently separated, bad breakup, loaded with baggage; considerably different levels of education, income, and varied backgrounds. Though I rarely write positive thoughts about online dating, sitting in front of your computer,reading a profile you can decide right then and there whether or not she’d be a good match – No, not getting involved with that! Love never has the chance to take root, phew!
Granted, there are deal breakers that you know you can’t live with. However as a mature man you’ll never know if love conquers all unless you’re a bit flexible. You have enough life experience behind you to know when to end a dating relationship because you’re certain that a life together wouldn’t work out. Still there are certain traits in women, that at first glimpse may seem insurmountable that on hindsight may not be what they first seemed to be.
Love conquers all? There are times when it does.