Archive for category: Dating

Date Challenged

Categories: Dating

If you haven’t been on a real date in a very long time –  picking up a gal in a bar or any other venue, and then going to her place or taking her to yours doesn’t count – you’re, in fact, Date Challenged.   And it still doesn’t count as a real date if you ask to see her again, because we all know where that leads.

Date Challenged doesn’t necessarily mean impaired in the pick up department – check out the notches on your bedpost. Regardless of the number of times you’ve seduced a woman if you haven’t met a lady, scheduled a day and time to see her again, thoughtfully planned your date, and executed it as planned you, my friend, are in the never ending  single cycle.  And if your goal when asking a lady out is to end up in bed, then the chances of breaking the cycle remain less than slim – don’t fool yourself, it’s not a real date.

When searching for your Ms. Right, getting to know the lady before having sex is paramount.  Because once you take things to an intimate level you’re thinking below the belt where the little head does all the thinking and wants just one thing from a woman, whereas you, the whole guy, need more than a few moments of physical gratification for a lasting relationship to work.

Breaking the single cycle isn’t easy.  It takes some effort.  And feelings of loneliness and hopelessness check into your life like unwanted house guests.

If you’ve been a player for most of your adult life, changing your dating habits is tough, however changing how others view you is even more difficult.  When you’re labelled a player, male friends and colleagues may introduce you to their female friends right along with the warning, He’s kind of a player usually follow by, He’s really a great guy (after all, they’re your friends).

And most women can spot a player the moment he enters her personal space –  the vibe easily penetrates through to the core of their finely tuned intuition. Of course, this puts you smack dab in the category of he’s not serious about getting into a relationship. Red flag!

If you’re getting a lot, you know that sex can be addictive.  However, like everything else in life that’s worth it in the long run, cleaning up your act is what will have you dating and keeping the right type of woman.

She Should Have It Matchmaking

Categories: Dating

105 posts and still as passionate about blogging as when clients were few and I had all the time in the world to write.  Now that my schedule is full, sharing thoughts and tips about fashion and dating still remains a rewarding priority.

Though I wasn’t sure when, I knew the day would come when I would post She Should Have It Matchmaking. In addition to helping a good number of guys shine their wonderful selves, and gain a better understanding of how women approach dating – giving them a much better chance at finding true love – I’m consistently doing my homework in order to give single men even better odds at finding their perfect matches.

I didn’t approach entering into matchmaking lightly.  And one thing I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to become one of those who promise and can’t deliver.

She Should Have It Matchmaking will be an unique experience, unlike any other dating service in the Portland/Seattle area.  At this point, I don’t want to give too much away except to say that you will have not just one, but three dates with women who match your criteria.  The ladies will be right there in the room where you’ll choose two that you’ll take out on a date – the third is my match for you.

To be included in She Should Have It Matchmaking you must be meet SSHI criteria.  Women will be chosen on the basis of possessing those qualities that match your type of woman and comply with SSHI rules.

When all the i’s are dotted and the t’s crossed, details and rules for She Should Have It Matchmaking will be posted .

Meanwhile, as always, your feedback is welcome!



Categories: Dating

Say you’re at your favorite Happy Hour place, turn your head and spot instant attraction right there in front of your eyes.  Feeling your heart pound in your ears you immediately spring up off your bar stool, stroll on over to where she’s sitting, and say something like Hi how’s it going? only to get the cold shoulder. Ouch! Self-esteem takes a nosedive. And feeling the sting of rejection you pull the sci-fi thing, making yourself invisible.

Rejection isn’t always bad. In fact, it can be a good thing –  rather than wanting to disappear right there on the spot, think of it as an opportunity to learn.

Why the negative retort? Usually it amounts to just a few things, such as she prematurely determined that you’re not her type just by looking at you, she deemed your opening line boring – the same stale pick up line she’s heard dozens of times by guys just like you, or she’s already seeing someone and not interested in meeting anyone else at that time.

How to learn from rejection:

  • Know your dating demographic and play to it by matching your external packaging (image) to your type of woman.
  • Know how to flirt and bring it on.  The right type of eye contact can tell you whether or not she’s interested in meeting new men.
  • Use the pretend a friend tactic for your opening line.

There’s no guarantee that you won’t, from time-to-time, experience rejection , however when you learn from your mistakes the odds drastically drop.

Women who don’t dress their age

Categories: Dating, Fashion

Recently I read an article in the Huffington Post about women who don’t dress their age 15-50 Syndrome:  Moms Turn Back The Clock With Their Daughters’ Skimp Clothes and it got me thinking about what men think about said syndrome – the full story was aired on ABC News.

So, I asked 12 mature men what attracts them to the women they consider asking out.  Not surprising, each in their own way said pretty much the same thing – image is the first component in attraction, it’s important that a woman’s appearance compliments my aesthetics.

When looking for a lasting relationship, most men over 40 are attracted to sophisticated style. Trashy is trashy at any age.  Skin-tight sleazy dresses, mama’s-got-em cleavage spilling out of sparkles from head to toe, heavy handed makeup, hair that knows no boundaries you get the idea – means one of two things.  Either the lady is out on the prowl, or simply fooling herself into believing it’s the way to find herself a man.

On the flip side, gentlemen over 40 want women to have  sex appeal. However, if the woman is showing her legs, they’d better be good.  The same goes for sleeveless, and plunging necklines – all fine if her arms and decolletage are firm and attractive.

And, there’s a big difference between skin-tight and fitted. It’s a new day and age, and many women over 40 are hot with curves in all the right places.  And, believe me, men want to see a little of what they’ve got under their well-tailored outfits. Over the top leaves little to the imagination, and at any age is a turnoff for most guys serious about finding Ms. Rights.

Single women over 40 have reached a place in their lives where quality should take the place of quantity.  They have more purchasing power than their daughters, and understand that sporting clothes made of fine fabrics, and shoes of fine leather is not only age appropriate, it lends them the type of sophistication that their daughters can learn from, and mature men want to see.

Women who don’t dress their age lack the realization that getting older means dressing better than their daughters. They deserve quality – a growing collection of classic pieces that throughout their adult years grows into a real woman’s wardrobe – rather than a closet full of trendy throw-away outfits.

FM 97.1 Charlie Interview with Nicolle Camarata

Categories: Dating, Fashion, Grooming


Unrealistic women

Categories: Dating

This morning when you looked into the mirror, razor in hand, you suddenly realized that it’s time to stop playing around and get serious about finding a woman with whom you can spend the rest of your life. Up until now your career has been top priority and, cruising along on the path to success, you slowly begin to own up to the vacant space within you where abiding love belongs.

Say you have your act together – your image reflects your position in life, and the type of woman you’re seeking is naturally drawn to you.  Chances are if you aren’t already in a relationship you’re overlooking the realistic lady in the background vying for your attention in favor of unrealistic women.

If that’s the case, take another look in the mirror, and then draw up a list of qualities that are a good match for who you see.  If your inner values are visible on the exterior, then you have all that you need right there before your eyes to tell you the type of woman you should be seeking.

Playtime is over.  Getting serious means the good-time-party-gal is out of the picture – she isn’t, and never will be, relationship material.  And if your income has been opening the door for dating glamorous women that you love to show off on your arm, it’s time to get real.

On the flip side, if what you see in the mirror doesn’t reflect who you are on the inside, it’s not a mystery why you’re not in a lasting relationship. Your personal branding is off, and you’re either attracting and dating unrealistic women, or you’re not attracting any that you’d even consider taking out on a date.

Either way, it’s time to up your game and reflect who you are on the inside clear through to the surface.  Superficial?  Not when you understand that women shop for men in much the same way that they shop for products and services.  Ladies want the packaging to reflect the type of quality that they expect to find on the inside.  A misleading exterior means that that you’ll continue dating unrealistic women right along with other uninformed guys who, like you, contain values worthy of realistic women with similar standards.



The Control Freak

Categories: Dating

Granted, men like women who have opinions and know what they like.  The relationship volley – He: What would you like to do tonight?/She: I don’t know, what would you like to do? – can get a little old.  Needless to say, it’s always refreshing when she responds with something like, I’d like to see a movie, rather than hitting the question back into your court.

Strong women have strong opinions.  And if you consider yourself a strong man, this can be good. However, there’s a fine line between the self-assured lady who isn’t afraid to stand her ground and The Control Freak.

How to know when the woman you’re dating is The Control Freak type:

  • You wake up one morning and realize that, while trying to please her, mostly everything you’ve done since you began dating has been her choice.
  • You no longer bring up your favorite restaurants and activities, knowing she’s not going to like them.
  • She counters your suggestions with her favorite restaurants and activities, and that’s where you end up.
  • She nitpicks your shortcomings.
  • She tells you how to behave in public.
  • She triggers your insecurities.
  • Your gut tells you that it’s her way or the highway.

The Control Freak will never be satisfied in a relationship regardless of how hard you try to please her.  Despite her conviction that her way is the right way, she’s insecure.  Her need to control derives from believing that if she’s in charge she won’t have to face her shortcomings.  She’s a perfectionist who leaves little room for another person in her life, and, since perfection is relative, she can’t be happy with any man because he’ll never live up to her standards.

Opinions are good, opinionated . . . not so much.

FM 97.1 Charlie

Categories: Dating, Other

Having been invited to do an interview on Wednesday with Nicolle Camarata for  97.1 FM   Charlie I began thinking of why I do what I do.

For many men the thought of never finding the right types of women with whom they can share their lives is frightening.  Yet, rarely do they express their feelings of fear and loneliness to friends and family.  Rather they tamp it down inside until they begin believing that they’ll always be alone.

What these guys don’t understand is that dating desirable women takes a little work on their part.  The accept me as I am mindset is the number one reason they’re still single.

My job is to help men understand that though they’re talented, kind, educated, and all around good guys, women won’t have a clue unless they change their you get what you see attitudes.

I accomplish this by helping men understand how women think – what draws them to particular men, while completely dismissing others with similar values.

Image is personal branding, and just as we’re drawn to certain products and services by attractive visuals, women shop for men in much the same way.

When it comes to dating, women are seekers of relationship knowledge.  They read and practice dating rules that make sense to them, while men haven’t a clue about what’s going on inside their heads.  By sharing this information guys have a better chance of attracting and keeping desirable women – they’re on the same page, leaving less room for error.  And the odds of losing the lady while wondering where they went wrong drastically drop.

Few men want to end up alone.  And helping worthy men make the necessary changes that result in finding and keeping their Ms. Rights . . . well, that never gets old.

My interview on FM 97.1 Charlie will air Thursday morning drive time, August 4th.



Complimentary personal shopping for ladies

Categories: Dating, Fashion, Grooming

Fall/winter fashions are currently in the stores and it’s a good time to browse the new trends and perhaps pick up a few key pieces.

If you’re a bit overwhelmed with all that’s new for the upcoming season, or wondering if the new trends are right for you, here’s your opportunity to shop with a professional stylist absolutely free.  Read on . . .

By referring male friends and relatives who seem to be stuck in the quagmire of the dating arena to She Should Have It you will not only be helping these romantically unfulfilled guys become more successful daters, you’ll reward yourself with a one-hour free personal shopping experience, or a one-hour home wardrobe closet clean-out.

A little about She Should Have It and what makes this worthwhile.

Many women who have tried online dating speak of finding someone who seems great, making a date to meet in person, and then being completely frustrated by the lack of face to face chemistry. Sound familiar?

Most often the trouble seems to be with men who haven’t taken the time to refine their dating skills. The no-life-work-addicts have invested so much energy in their careers that their romantic lives have not been a priority. And, as a result, when they finally go on a date, they don’t have a clue.  And really, who wants to find themselves sitting across the table from these guys?

I’m pretty sure you’ve all walked away from more than a few potential relationships based on a guy’s image and demeanor.  And I can’t say that I blame you.  Since you’ve worked hard to get your act together, you deserve a man who has the same thing going for him– well-dressed, well-groomed, and sophisticated.  Someone who looks great and knows how to behave on a date – now that isn’t too much to ask, is it?

A growing number of women are no longer willing to date men who need fixing up. Therefore, they’ve asked me about the guys who’ve come to She Should Have It for fashion, grooming, and dating advice.  How do we meet these made over men, they want to know. And each time I’m asked the first thing that comes to mind is that these ladies wouldn’t have given my clients a second glance had they met them prior to working with me.

The changes my clients have accomplished are astounding.  After a little work, their education, financial success, self-confidence, and sense of humor suddenly come shining through to the surface, placing them in the desirable date category.

First impressions can either draw a man into your circle of interest, or give you every reason to completely dismiss him. You work hard enough at your job, and you don’t need another project.

If you’re one of the lucky ladies dating or married to a man whom you’re proud to introduce to family and friends, I’m sure you have other close male friends and relatives who admire your relationship, and wonder what’s keeping them from having a similar partnership.

If you know a wonderful man looking for his Ms. Right without success, simply refer him to She Should Have It and schedule your free personal shopping session or wardrobe closet cleaning.

Email your referrals with his and your contact information to

*Referrals must result in a She Should Have it client contract.

*Offer limited to the Portland Area.







Categories: Dating

When you first start dating a woman, take it for granted that she’s seeing other men.  Whether or not she reveals this to you -  most likely she won’t – you can be sure that you have competition.  Bad news – if you’re not into being a player, you must become one.  So suck in your gut, pull back your shoulders, and step up to the plate.

To win the lady of your dreams you have to outshine your competition.  This means that when you step out on the town she feels proud to be on your arm – your exterior mirrors your great guy interior.  Granted, women like guys with whom they feel a connection, however, they love to show off their men.  If your competition is a good match on the inside and it shows on the outside, you lose points, leaving you behind in the game.

On the flip side, if you’re the competitive type and have it all, there’s a good chance that you get caught up in the game.  Whether or not she’s a good match you’re in it to win, and then one fine morning you wake up and find yourself locked into yet another forced relationship.

Either way, competition is not only unavoidable, it’s a necessary evil on the road to finding your Ms. Right.