Attitude: (1) A position of the body or manner of carrying oneself, (2) disposition, (3) an arrogant or hostile state of mind or disposition.
Lack of an appropriate image, unreadable body language, non-proactive dating habits, set in his ways, lack of dating etiquette, sharing too much information on a first date, unaware or unwilling to accept that there are rules for dating, resisting the fact that dating requires strategy – all on my top ten list of why men remain single.
Though much of the above can be attributed to attitude, through years of coaching I’ve learned that some men are completely unaware of any change in the nonverbal message they’re sending. And for that very reason I’ve placed attitude on my top ten list of why men remain single.
Often after a first date a man will think that things went well, when in fact on her end the date didn’t go at all the way he’d imagined. And, confused time and again about where he went wrong, his positive attitude may begin to disintegrate to that of dating arrogance or even hostility.
And though the men I coach are sincere about finding Ms. Right there are those that I can well imagine coming across a bit arrogant or slightly hostile at the mere thought of going out on yet another date after a long line of first dates that ended in nothing more than a restaurant, cafe, or bar tab.
Guys, I hear you. Yet, dating is no different from any other goal you have or have had in your life. When you really want something you have to go by the rules and win the game. Of course, there are ways to stack the odds in your favor so that you won’t find yourself on dates with the wrong types of women.
Sharing too much information is number one on my no-no list. Telling your sad story time and again over time can spawn bitterness and anger that’s difficult to disguise – your body language takes command. Though getting it all out there right from the get go may feel good – even cathartic, you’re an honest man – it will come back to bite you in the ass. Though she may ask direct questions regarding your ex or past dating life this isn’t your cue to go into all the details. Your best course of action is to say something such as, The past is the past. I’m more interested in the future, and then turn the conversation to something that moves the date forward, such as one of your interests or favorite activities.
A fresh attitude – positive body language that displays interest in your date – is paramount. This is your chance to move forward, not slip back into the past.